I am Going to Remember You
I often sit in meetings with other head coaches from a variety of sports at the college where I lead the men’s and women’s tennis programs. I attend forums and seminars, spending time trying to learn new ways to improve within the coaching profession. I share coaching stories with other instructors, and invariably, there is always something we share in common, no matter the teaching style we use. That is how we remember our players—whether it be positively or negatively. So now I ask you: How do you want to be remembered?
To begin with, I think that in order to be a secure person, you may not need someone else’s approval. That is true in the sense of what clothing you might wear, the kind of car you drive, your political views or how you choose to bring up your children. If you believe that you are doing the right things, then continue doing so. However, in your wake, you leave impressions much like you are on a job interview. If you want the job you are interviewing for, dress appropriately, act according to the protocol of the situation because you want to be remembered. What an interviewer remembers would have an adverse effect on your livelihood.
That leads me back to the world of coaching. I have taught many players over the years, and now I am in the world of coaching collegiate athletes to not just to be better players, but to become better people. In the past several years, many players have graduated from my program at SUNY Oneonta, and I have an opinion on each one of those players. I also remember those who did not make it through the program for four years. Yes, I have an opinion, I may not share it with you, but I have one. Say a person’s name from the tennis team past or present and it will provoke a thought.
Why is this important and how does it relate to tennis?
If you are a junior player and taking lots of lessons and are enrolled in a program, take note. Perhaps you are an adult enrolled in a series of group lessons or a collegiate player on a team. The instructor, coach or teacher is going to remember you if you stand out. This is also true if you are the student, as you might remember the exceptionally good or bad teacher.
If you had a treasure map that could lead you to the Holy Grail of your life, I hope you would follow it. After years of coaching, I can say, without hesitation, that I tried to provide that Holy Grail map to my students for being a better tennis player and person.
Coaches and teachers have provided the treasure map to success, and some players and students follow it. Other students create other paths to success, while others avoid any attempt to follow the route. In all likelihood, I will remember the ones who embraced my teachings or carved out their own path to success in tennis and that of also being a good person and student. I also invariably remember the ones who seem to go to great lengths to resist.
So … now why would you care if I remember you or not? The reason is that you should just want to be a good ethical person, or be a better student and tennis player and that probably should be enough. But, one day you might need a reference letter, a recommendation for a job or graduate school. I am always looking for the path to betterment and will do so until the day I die. If I can share the mistakes I made and help others on and off the tennis court I will. That is what coaches do.
I will also remember you if you make no attempt to empty your glass and take on the wisdom that coaches share with you. Let me provide you with an illustration: I had a young man on my team several years ago whom I helped expedite his college admission. I was certainly not looking for a thank you, but this young man was verbally abusive, rude to the athletic staff, lacked any gentlemanly behavior to the female tennis players, was late to practice, lacked any accountability, his tennis court behavior was inappropriate, he vandalized property, was disruptive in class and was an overall bad example of a student/athlete. I eventually had to remove this young man from the squad because his conduct was detrimental to the entire team. It was easy to remember him negatively, both from my point of view and the perspective of his teammates as well. However, in education, a teacher can learn as much from their students as they try to convey. I tried to teach this individual the right things, discipline him, and have him make a little progress. This particular individual’s parents enabled his behavior, and epitomizes the saying: "The apple does not fall far from the tree.”
Yes, I did remember him, but he taught me something as well. I needed to do a better job of recruiting players. I needed to do my due diligence in getting recommendations from coaches, in getting references, in interviewing families, and finding out how a potential student-athlete behaves in school and their demeanor both on and off the tennis court. So I just want to thank this individual, wherever they may be. You helped me to improve my collegiate program in the area of team camaraderie and community service. Apparently I learned more from him than I taught him. I indeed remember you! I remember those students positively who have suggestions to help me become a better coach. I listen and learn to work within the confines of a cooperative coaching style. I remember you if you competed hard on court to the last ball struck. This could be an indication of your work ethic in the job force. I will share that information with a graduate school examiner or human resource department.
In the real world, you might ask yourself: “How will I be remembered?” After all, we all have a reputation and the way you behave both on and off the tennis court will go right in your character folder for all of us to have individual access to? Because our sport is unique when you are on the tennis court by yourself, the light shines directly on you. If you care, act accordingly on and off the field of competition; I/we will remember you.
