Twenty Tournament Tennis Truths

Over the past four decades, I've spent thousands of hours as a coach at local, national and international junior tournaments, and as they say, "I have seen it all." Here are 20 candid observations about the behaviors and interactions between players, coaches and parents before, during and after matches. I'm sure readers could suggest many more. I use the word "probably" to temper each of these truths because there are always exceptions to any rule. Maybe you recognize your own behavior here, but don't feel these descriptions apply to you? If so you are probably not being accountable to your actions.

1. If as a coach, player or parent, you act entitled because of your high tennis status, your sense of superiority is probably not shared by everyone.

2. If you talk about your child's accomplishments as though they are yours, they probably aren't.

3. If you talk about your student's accomplishments as though they are yours, they probably aren't.

4. If you go to tournaments to give unsolicited advice, it's probably not because you are altruistic.

5. If you frequently talk about how great a player you were, you probably weren't.

6. If you frequently talk about getting a "bad draw," you are probably not unlucky.

7. If you frequently default because you are getting injured, you are probably not unlucky.

8. If you frequently lose close matches, you are probably not unlucky.

9. If you frequently default in the back draw because "you have nothing to gain," it's probably more a reflection of your character than your savvy at navigating the system.

10. If you refer to your child's tennis using "we" language, you are probably living vicariously.

11. If you frequently talk to your child about their great talent, you are probably undermining them.

12. If you talk to your children about tennis as a financial investment, it's probably not intended as a lesson in economics.

13. If you frequently get into fights with your children at tournaments, it's probably not because you know or care more.

14. If you frequently get angry at your students at tournaments, it's probably not because you have a bad student.

15. If you spend much of the match acting poorly, you probably didn't notice much about your opponent.

16. If you try to get your opponent to change their line call by talking to them aggressively, you are probably doing more harm than good.

17. If your opponent questions several of your reasonable line calls, they are probably going to cheat you soon.

18. If you cheated an opponent because you felt you were cheated, it's probably not because of your strong sense of justice.

19. If you are making calls before the ball lands out, your opponent probably thinks you are cheating.

20. If you think that the way you play is defined by how you played your best match ever, you are probably being unrealistic.